A Better Me...

At some point this year I decided enough was enough and I wanted to be happier and healthier. Here I am with just over a month left of 2016, somewhat healthier (but not where near to want I to be) and walking the tightrope of depression and anxiety.

Whether you want to admit it or not being happy is a choice, yes, your circumstances contribute to how you feel about yourself and your life. But it’s all about how you CHOOSE to deal with your circumstances. So, how am I dealing with it? I have chosen to walk away from a job that mentally fatigues me, causes me to have panic attacks at least once a month and a job, that unless I am in a high state of anxiety I can’t actually do. Am I worried? Yes, I have a new home, a mortgage and bills to pay and a child who is about to start private school. As a write this now a voice in my head is saying ‘you’re crazy!’.

The thing is a while back I prayed to God for a new job, I said ‘please God; I want a job that allows me to spend time with my family and not feel guilty when doing that. A job that allows me to pay bills and pay my debts off, I want to be able to pay for at least 2 holidays a year and keep my daughter in private school until she’s 11.’ The opportunity of having a job like this has been hanging around for a while but I just felt that is was too good to be true. It still is, but I’m taking a leap of faith, don’t get me wrong I’m still looking for an additional job because the job that I talk of isn’t going to reap rewards over night, but I’m taking a chance, not just on a new venture but taking a chance to be a better me.

UPDATE: Monday 28th Nov - No longer leaving the job, they couldn't replace me lol, but I still have plans in place to move on slowly, I didn't have another job either, so quite frankly I think God stepped in - 4 candidates interviewed for my job only one a possibility but for reasons I can't disclose was not offered the job.